"A biophysicist talks physics to the biologists and biology to the physicists, but when he meets another biophysicist, they just discuss women."  ~Author Unknown

About time this blog turned to Science for some rational thought, eh? ~ Space Gypsy
---------

Science: Space is often thought of as barren wide silent expanses decorated with twinkling displays of light but the primal nature of these bodies is often unconsidered.  The traditional sounds of space are techno beeps and boops but should sound like a hurricane, a volcano, and a flood all at once!  Space is primal!  Space is violent!! Space is dangerous!!!

SG: You're dangerous.

Science: That's not creative. What, your mom's dangerous?

SG: That's what she said.

Science: **grrr** May I continue?

SG: ---

Science: The most powerful forces we encounter on Earth are the elemental forces around us, which are also the forces we understand the least!  Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, tsunami, and volcanoes are just a few examples of the power of the elements. Incapable of fathoming the power of these forces, we attribute them to the displeasure of gods.  But insignificant are these forces when compared to even our closest celestial neighbor, Venus.

The atmospheric pressure on Venus is so tremendous that our best probes are quickly crushed under its suffocating weight.  Sulfuric acid rains from the sky into oceans of hydrocarbons.  All of this on the planet associated with love for its interstellar beauty. 

SG: (begins to sing) "Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather / Whiplash girl-child in the dark ..."

Science: (insistently speaking loudly over her) These harsh and primal conditions aren’t found only in the far flung reaches of the galaxy.  They are found right here, in our own backyard.  Yellowstone’s sulfur pits and geysers are just a taste of what's possible in the universe.  Enough to peak our imagination and let us marvel at the wonders we have yet to --

SG: You're a marvel

Science: Uh, that's what she said?

Together they sing.

The Space Gypsy asks,
What exactly does happen to all that space trash?
                                Let's let those spaceracing                 nuts and bolts tell you themselves...
-------------------------
 

[

Susumu Yokota

Add SATELLITE BEEPS to most songs to connect them all together

That Wrestler/monster/seventies throw-back movie w/ Giambatti as the bad guy

 

]

 

Space space space

Beep


Beep

Beep

 

Hey, Pioneer, out past the Altered Shock, is that what it's called?  Voyager, are you faster?  Racing.  Who will be the first to reach infinity?  Last on there is a rotten egg.
 

Rot in space.  Mummification.  The world turns inside, curls up inward, like dry gangrene, dying outward in, toes turning grey, black, green, black, giving in but space disperses.  Grain drying from the outside in them blowing away in the wind, out across forever plains.

 
Man walking across the plains forever, a satellite above him, geosynchronous orbit

 

Beep

 

beep

beop

Boop

 

Man blindfolded finding what?  There is nothing to touch in space.  The blood of the universe is so rich but it is too thin.  It is hot, swirling like a river, currents of energy, of life, the ambrosia, the Blood of God.  So big.  You can not drink it.  You can not touch it.  You are it.  Come back.  Come back to Me, My child.  Disperse.  Evaporate.  You are not decomposing you are returning.  You are being slowly assimilated back from whence you came.  Come back to Me.  Travel to Me, into Me, be with Me.  Return, return, return.

Do you see Jupiter when you dream?
Do you dip your toes in the seas of Saturn?

 [It is very big out here.  I just noticed it]

 
Neptune, O God, Neptune.  So blue.  You cruel, beautiful god.


Time flying lights.  Lights turning around, a ship on a sea, a forever sea.  Where is my compass?  Here I am and I am so far away from home.  Can you see me from where you are, on Earth?  Can you see me, my home?  My heart?  My loves?  My children, where do you go?  Where does your daddy go?  Only up from where you are but not here.  There's no up.  There's only onward.  Onward onward.

My face!  I can't remember my face!
Do you remember?

The winds on Earth are seventy miles per hour, seventy million miles away.

We've forgot miles, here.  There are no more miles, just like an albatross over the Atlantic doesn't give a shit about centimeters.  Hahahahahahha!  Do you remember rulers?!  Rulers!  hahahahhahahha!!  I can not tell if I any longer need my wings and... rulers!  Rulers, rulers, rulers.

I am the Ruler of the Universe.  We are immortal.  Blood of Kings.  We are the rulers of the Universe.  See my hands circle the stars?  See me grasp them in my fist?  They are gone!  And there they go!  I spin Uranus.  I spin it like a pretty top.  I hold it between my fingers like a marble.  They are all my marbles and I have lost them lost them all.


I
Have
Lost
All
Of
My [marbles]

Space race taste face base grace lace mace

Is anything wasted in up here?  It goes away but this is the stuff of God.  I give it back.  Anything in me, anything held within my body, is me being selfish.  My skin, the strength of my bones, the walls of my cells hold it in, greedily.  Who am I to withhold the stuff of creation from the Universe, from God?  From the Gods?  From the Goddesses?

We are all made of stardust.  I got that from another author.  Was it Robert Fulghum?  Did you know that?  We are all made of stardust?  The Universe, before it was a Universe, was dust, and light, and energy.  It came together out of gravity and love, and it formed more energy, and more heat, and Zeus made clay and the great gods and goddesses worked that clay into shapes, and into many of those shapes made by the gods and goddesses out of the clay of stardust was breathed life.  And here we are.

Here we are.
Where are you, my Sputnik Sweetheart? 

Been

Beep

Beep

I look [up] and I look for you, my one and only, my shining orb.  Where are your pulsing red lights?  Where are those soft, warm fingers I used to hold so tightly?

I held onto her finger so tightly when my hand was so tiny that it was all I could grasp.  Even before I could see, I would grasp on so tightly so that I would never forget her pulse that was my pulse, so that I would never again be separated from her.  I held on so tight to that finger, even after I had left her, pulled out, pushed out, expelled, born, I held onto that finger so tightly.  I was so little that I might blow away, like a little seed into the great, great wind across the great, great plains.

And here I am.

Here I am.

Blowing through space.

They say that there is wind in space and I can feel it when I am feeling optimistic.  I can feel you, dear heart.  I can feel you, dear hearts.  I can feel all of you, dear hearts, all the way out here.  All the way here.  Here we are.

Sun-powered.  Powder keg.  Sun spots bigger than the Earth the old feeds say?  I can still hear them.  God, have they been travelling to me for months?  Years?  But there were Sunspots.  They might end tomorrow, those transmissions.  This might be the last one.  It might have been swallowed, the Earth.  I will maybe be able to see it disappear before I hear that last transmission.  Maybe it will end in mid-sentence:

"The situation in South Vietnam intensified on Wednesday as the Vietcong forces ambu--........."

And the whole world ends.

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control."

Please love me, Ground Control.  Please hold me close.  Please bring me back.  I need to hold something.  That finger.  What happened...

How can I turn inward when the very Everything is trying to pull me apart?  But there is nobody else to play with.

I am drifting through space and all I can do is be this fucking self-centered?

 

How fucking boring!

 

Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these stars!  Look!  Look at all of these star!  Look!  Look at all of star!  Look!  Look at all of thse starsz!  Look!  Look at all off this starts!  Look!  Look at alluvesetarststs!  Look!  Look!  Look!

 

Beep

Beep

 

Beep

 

Thank you for bringing me back.  It's not madness.  It is a return.  It is a return to something so patient.  it is Something more graceful than the mountains.  it is so fluid and so slow compared to us seconds, to us trillion miles per hour, that we can't see it move because we are so... impatient.  We are so insane.  it is not insane.  I am not going insane.  I am returning to sanity.  This is me returning.  This is my return.

I am the first man in all of time to return to you, God.  I am the first man in all of time to return to the womb and it is so lonely.  There is no finger for me to hold on to.  I am going back, returning, and I have to say goodbye to the world, to all of my friends, to food, to air, to baseball, to love-- No!  i AM RETURNING TO LOVE!  I am returning to love!  I am returning to love!  This is so beautiful!  I am returning to love!  I am returning to you, Mother, but there are no more fingers and there is nothing to hold but myself.  Even when all of Creation is holding me so close that I can feel its blood brushing against me, there is nothing for me to hold.

I am being returned.

This is not a travel.  This is a return.  This is the pinnacle of human development: the return.

Homeward bound.
I am homeward bound.
Home to where the...

The words.

 

[It is very big out here.  I just noticed it]

 

I've forgotten the words.  I don't need the words, anymore.  I do not need words, anymore.  Creation is taking it back.  I am a speaker blaring through space all of my memories and thoughts and those are flowing from my memory, from my CD, from my hard drive, from my cassette deck, through my wires of blood, and copper, and life, and out into space.  There are goddesses dancing to hits that have stopped broadcasting.

They've stopped broadcasting.
There's nothing now.  Nothing here.
I can't hear them, any longer.
Can you hear them, Sputnik?
Can you hear them, Pioneer, Voyager?

I can't hear the Earth.

 

Did it happen?

Is it swallowed up?

Is that it?

 

I miss you, Mom.

 

All.  Of.  My.  Memories.  All of my memories.  All'a my memories....  hahahahaha!!  Allah!  My memories!  Hahahahahhaha!  Allah akbar!  My memories!  Allah akbar!  They are going home.  They are leaving me and going home just like I left Earth and am going home.  The Earth is going home, you know.  We are all going home but I am going faster.  I am going so much faster!  Yes!  Yes, yes, yes!  This is so exciting!  I am watching mountains being born over a billion years and it is so exciting!  Over... billions of... years....

 
On the road again.
Can't wait to get back on the road again.
Making music with my friends.

Wait.  There was something else.  I forgot.

 

Something fell.

Something fell.

I heard a crash.  I thought.  Something.

Something fell.

Something crashed.

Forever.

Fell forever.

Crashing forever.

It is a vase at the exact moment that it strikes the ground, shattering forever, and ever, and ever.  it is crashing forever, the moment that all of that energy explodes outward, forever and ever.

Potential not slowed down.  This is the speed of the universe.  A thousand speeds of light per hour.  A thousand miles a hour.

Polaroids.
Polaris.
Polar ice caps.
Pole position.

Vroooom!  Nerown!  Zawoooooom!
Hahahahahha!
Swish!

This is my arm moving through space!  Through space!  hahahaha!  Ah... Orion, you sexy dog.  Aren't there any ladies up here?  The water bearer.  She's a chick, right?  Yes.  Big yes.  Orion, are you going to dip your sword in her water, there?  Hee hee hee!  Just, you know, stay away from those bears.  You big, bearskin-wearing pervert.

Keep it in you Ursa.  No!  Wait!  Do NOT keep it in your Ursa!  Stop it!  Stop that!  Stop that right now!  Heee heee hee hahahaha!

But it's not madness!  I'm not mad-- I'm free!  I am free!  A man few into the sky and flew so high and was so happy that he burst into laughter like an explosion and his laughter, his joy, floats in space and we call it the aurora borealis.  I never saw it.  But I do have you, Neptune.

You are one of those little shadows.  You are one of those little lights.  I forget which.  I didn't forget.  The Universe took it back from my.  I didn't forget that knowledge.  I gave that knowledge back to the Universe.  The Universe took that knowledge back.  It is its.

Stars dancing like sprites.  Lightning bugs, when did you dance like this for me on warm summer nights?  Ballet?  Waltz?  'Waltz'?  hahahaha!

Ah, joy!

 
There's a violin somewhere playing and... and a drum beating a beat that sounds like a pulse, like a dancer's pulse, like my mother's pulse when she would dance and I could feel it and I could feel her pulse because it was my pulse and I could feel her sweating and hear her sweat and I was hungry and kicked the wall of her womb my home with my little foot (it would be a foot later, anyway) and she danced to so hard and I came out of it all loving music but not loving it because all it did was make me nostalgic until now, until this-- these sprite sea star moments here they go!  Here we go!  Here we are and we are all dancing and we are dancing so bright and so loud and we strobe and we stroke and we sway like clouds and like a woman singing shining radiant all of the stars turn a little faster all of the constellations turn their heads to look at you sea star sprites dancing like lightning bugs on God's wind the divinity above the Earth, above the Altered Shock, above what our little creation used to be O, if you could see creation from here!  If you could taste the sweat of dancing, of movement, of magic, and...

 

And...

And yes.

 

Yes, Krishna.  Yes, Brahma.  I am coming home, one molecule at a time.  I am sorry I am greedy.  I am so sorry that I am so greedy.  My body does not know how to give itself up, and neither do I.  But here I am, and here I go, and here I come.

Are you greedy for me?  Yes.  No.  Yes and no.  I'm yours.  Be as greedy as you please.  Grab me by the hand and pull me as hard as you can, Father, Mother.  Stars.  Space.  Dust.  Let's dance with the dust.  Let's dance in the moonlight, in the starlight, in the spacelight.

Something up here is glowing and I do not know what it is.  I think it is glowing like my blood glows in the darkness of my veins.  Can you see it?  Can you see that?  I can feel it when I close my eyes.  Here we are.

 

Here we are.

Here we are.

And we are dancing.

 

Which way is up?  'Which way is up'?  Hahahahhaha!  We are so immature!  Take my hand, lil' Sputnik, and let's dance a silver dance, let's dance a pulsing red light dance.

 

[It is very big out here.  I just noticed it]

 

Somewhere out there, there is a man in a space suit but he is doing it all wrong.  He is doing it all wrong.  I do not need air in the veins of the Universe.  Carjack.

Something about a car jack.
I remember something about a car jack.
Lifting up the car.  A tire.  Something.

A Sun is an explosion folding in on itself over and over and over.  It is the moment at which the vase breaks slowed down a billion times, exploding over and over.  We can't comprehend it so here we are. 


Here we are.
Ahh,,,,,
Ahhh!

AH!

ECHO!

Hahahahhahaha!

 

In a trillion years, that'll bounce back off of a canyon wall and come careening back to me!  Hahahahaha!

Rivers down canyons.  Little goats dancing down canyon walls.  Space goats down space canyon walls with a space river at the space bottom.  Space bottom.  A space lady's space bottom.  Gotta be dressed in silver, walking the way only a space lady can walk.

Get it together, lads.

Everything with an affected, English accent.  A jaunty space sailor's accent!  Yes!  And here we are sailing the seas of space!  The very seas of space!  jaunty!  Hahahaha!  Ah, that's a fun word!

Module.... 'Module'.  Module module module module.  Sounds boring.  Science sounds so soulless.  It is the unhealthy extinction of the soul, the imperial invasion of the circuit.  You... you are NOT BLOOD!

You are not blood!  You are not Mother!  You terrible thing!  You terrible monster!  I will tear your wires with my teeth, I will rend your plastic flesh with my fingers, with the claws of the brother who created you!  Me-- Enkidu!

Me!  Enkidu!  Child of Nature!  Child of the Universe!  Part-Monster?  Nay!  No!  All man!  All animal!  All human!  And space... you, space, you affirm me.  You affirm me in my humanity unleashed, unbound from the chains of expectation, and society, and gravity.  I CAN FLY!

I am the Ruler of the Universe!

I wave my arms!  Do you see me wave my arms!?  Can you?  Can you wave them so freely, with such impunity where you are?  Are you going to hit something?  Knock something over?  I am free of your consequence!  I am free of all consequence!  Brahma is taking me back and, O fuck, the journey he's taking me on!

Soulless space...

 

You're so soulless that you need mine.  Yours is so dispersed that mine is like a sword, like a beam of light.  My soul is an ember in your thin, trillion-mile veins.  Can you feel its heat?  Is that why you attack me?  Why you come looking for me?  Dispersing me?

Is that why you love me?

Check on.
Check on.
Game on.

It is very big out here.  I just noticed it.
I just noticed.
I just noticed it.

It is very big out here.

I can hear a noise.

 

This must be what SETI hears.  This is what SETI does not tell us, does not play for us.  This is what SETI keeps for itself.  This is what SETI dances to when all of the scientists go to bed.  The dance!  Such dancing!

Forum.
Module.
Fo-rum.
Mo-dule.
Modjul.
Mohdjyool.

Blah blah blah.

Wood blocks.  Wood works.  Wood shards.  Chips.  Splinters.  There is no wood in space.  If there was a galleon up here, then there would be nothing but poetry.  The universe would be nothing but poetry, endless and forever.  Going on forever.

And the sails.

Ah, to sail in a sailing ship through the seas of the Universe!  That would be it!  The solar wind would fill its naked, canvas sails.  I want to sail the Forever Strait, the Gulf of Scorpio. 

I received a transmission recently and have transcribed it below as best I could.

I recognize the Gibran quotes but otherwise, the origin ... not sure. Familiar somehow, like scribbled notes on a napkin, like a message I may have sent to myself?   ~SG

---------------------------
mission statement
                                                take thoughts
                                        to space
                between to
                                                                press Reset
"Vague and nebulous is the beginning of all things, but not their end."

I return finding that this life feels funny... 
Squeeze back into girl body
                    (it barely fits

                                                                                   ).

I keep forgetting.
How could I be young again?
Haven't I seen this end?

                                                      Yes, but she has not
 
What are my limitations?

                                                     She will crumble under
                                                 Any of her own elements.
                                                       She returns to them. 
       
I turn in like a comma,
                    a staple,
To the earth.
My visions thrown against a timeline
Like game pieces.
Why only memories of the past?

                                         memories
                                                self-awareness
                                                             imaginings

What about REmembering forward?
Energy does not stand in a line,
Though knowledge slips behind.
                                                              The First Person

I think
                                    I can
            remember
                                                                    being
                        potential
                                                not latent
not future.

                       Every pull toward this ground called Mother
                                Every hair the wind blows up against
                                                Sagging skin is a message
                                                    Echoing from out there

I must remember
I am not only her
Remember
My duty to protect her

                                                             She is waking up

My visions are stored away
Like a dream
After you've slept
                  again.
Breath creates a crack.
Time goes seeping...

     "Could you but see the tides of that breath
      you would cease to see all else,"

I know
I am not only her
I am being her

                                                        SHE must know that

    "And if you could hear the whispering of the dream
    you would hear no other sound.
    But you do not see,
    nor do you hear,
    and it is well."

                                                She cannot know the end
                                                She must remember

No empty space

                                                                               (and

only space between

                         we will dance there)

"Space flights are merely an escape, a fleeing away from oneself, because it is easier to go to Mars or to the Moon than it is to penetrate one's own being." C. Jung

How dark would it have to be to fill in the dots of the constellations? Know the wisdom of their stories? Is it with silence or study that we tune into the music of the spheres? How much stillness does it take to stop the sirens?

Shhhhhh. Find the pulse.
shhhhhh I am breathing in. I am breathing--
shhhhhhitfuck.
This is harder than it seems.
Rage buzzes in my teeth -
the closest it will come to my tongue.
lalalalaaaaaalullaby.

I want to sleep through the day and only wake up without  trembling lip and welling tears that don't cost a dull heart. My dreams exhaust me but innerspace is no closer. I want to eat without stopping and skim the surface of every distraction. Not me. Not me. Not me. No mirrors, please.

I am a pocket calculator, a Franklin planner, a tax payer, e-mail ridden, BMI, PIN, shit factory. Give me more time and I'd simply play computer solitaire and never be alone.

For a space journey to penetrate my being, its secret must be inaccessible but the path accessible to me in a daily way.  ~ "It must be unique, and it must exist geographically. The door to the invisible must be visible." Mt. Analogue, Rene Duamal

I am breathing in. I am breathing out.
I am breathing in. I am breathing out.

Imagine there is a way to study the cosmos kinesthetically, playing within the laws governing it, reminding ourselves of all we know about gravity, through these strictly defined movements and the patterns made by dancing.

I'm picking up a signal, Captain.
SG

"What you risk reveals what you value." J. Winterson

Heading back to earth, I skipped off the atmosphere like a pond stone. 

- desire desire all life is suffering  
BREATHING... OXYGEN...
OXYGEN... I AM HOT... (THIS)
ISN'T THIS DANGEROUS?...
I FEEL HOT!... I AM LISTENING!... I FEEL HOT!...
desire the origin of suffering is attachment -

Knowing I wasn't the first wisewoman engulfed, it seemed best to take advantage of the opportunity for travel.

Blue Planet of my Dreams.

I'm feeling less provincial now and frankly wouldn't trade my freedom for mass and energy.

Like a wave and a particle, I am both and neither. Existing as electromagnetic energy leaves me most open and accessible to adventure and also to build trust. I can't be part of the universe through the window of a body; one's scale has to be adjusted to a more subtle form. I exist as a dance.

I'll rely on quantum mechanics to translate photon ...
I hope my journey will enlighten ;-)
SG